Karma’s A B**** But Ignorance Is Bliss.

10 06 2009

ny-craze-coke-jesus

Guess which president was a cokehead who got a mysterious and undeserved/unsubstantiated ride through the Ivy League; is up to his ears in Saudi money and invokes Jesus more than Jenna Jamison in the middle of a shoot?

You already know don’t cha?

obama toker

Yep.

Too bad lying-a$$, hypocrite liberals will never enjoy the irony.





Wonder Woman Deploys Transformers At “Middle-America Super Bible-Beaters”

9 06 2009

I’m not a stalker and I’m not violent.

But ever since I saw Megan Fox, I’ve wanted to hunt her down and club her like a cavewoman.

Let me clarify.

I don’t really want to club her like a cavewoman…that sounds misogynistic and weird.  What I mean is I want to club her like a caveman who bonked sexy cavewomen over the head and dragged them by the hair back to their caves.

Seriously, where the f*** does she get off looking like that?

Anyways, she’s said some pretty interesting things lately like wanting to strangle a mountain-ox with her bare hands because certain women were so darned appealing to her…

This is good for at least two reasons and especially because, I’m guessing she’ll totally understand the good-natured club to the dome.

Fox, a tolerant Tennessee girl went after you throwback conservatives and judging by her comment, it’s almost like she’s asking for it!

Newsbusters has the dish:

When asked how she would stop the ruthless Megatron from demolishing the world, Fox first said that she would “barter with him.” She then, however, went on to say, “… and instead of the entire planet, can you just take out all of the white trash, hillbilly, anti-gay, super bible-beating people in Middle America?”

Ugh.  You can try to make me hate you Megan, but it’s gonna take a lot more than that.

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I’m not sure about that zombie in the background, but Egotastic.com has tons of Megan Fox photos if you can stand it.





Hugo To Fidel: “Careful Or We’ll Be On Obama’s Right!”

3 06 2009

(POST UPDATED BELOW) Many a truth is said in jest via Al-Reuters:

Venezuela’s President Hugo Chavez said on Tuesday that he and Cuban ally Fidel Castro risk being more conservative than U.S. President Barack Obama as Washington prepares to take control of General Motors Corp.

“Comrade Obama! Fidel, careful or we are going to end up to his right,” Chavez joked on a live television broadcast.

Holy $#*^ he called him “comrade.”  If Rush Limbaugh did that, MSNBC would start talking about oxycontons within the hour.

UPDATE: From the incredibly liberal Pravda, a scary view from the outside, that we should all take into account because we need to pay attention to the rest of the world:

It must be said, that like the breaking of a great dam, the American decent into Marxism is happening with breath taking speed, against the back drop of a passive, hapless sheeple, excuse me dear reader, I meant people.

The initial testing grounds was conducted upon our Holy Russia and a bloody test it was. But we Russians would not just roll over and give up our freedoms and our souls, no matter how much money Wall Street poured into the fists of the Marxists.

Those lessons were taken and used to properly prepare the American populace for the surrender of their freedoms and souls, to the whims of their elites and betters.

First, the population was dumbed down through a politicized and substandard education system based on pop culture, rather then the classics. Americans know more about their favorite TV dramas then the drama in DC that directly affects their lives. They care more for their “right” to choke down a McDonalds burger or a BurgerKing burger than for their constitutional rights. Then they turn around and lecture us about our rights and about our “democracy”.  Pride blind the foolish.

Then their faith in God was destroyed, until their churches, all tens of thousands of different “branches and denominations” were for the most part little more then Sunday circuses and their televangelists and top protestant mega preachers were more then happy to sell out their souls and flocks to be on the “winning” side of one pseudo Marxist politician or another. Their flocks may complain, but when explained that they would be on the “winning” side, their flocks were ever so quick to reject Christ in hopes for earthly power. Even our Holy Orthodox churches are scandalously liberalized in America.

The final collapse has come with the election of Barack Obama. His speed in the past three months has been truly impressive. His spending and money printing has been a record setting, not just in America’s short history but in the world. If this keeps up for more then another year, and there is no sign that it will not, America at best will resemble the Wiemar Republic and at worst Zimbabwe.

These past two weeks have been the most breath taking of all. First came the announcement of a planned redesign of the American Byzantine tax system, by the very thieves who used it to bankroll their thefts, loses and swindles of hundreds of billions of dollars. These make our Russian oligarchs look little more then ordinary street thugs, in comparison. Yes, the Americans have beat our own thieves in the shear volumes.  Should we congratulate them?

I’m wondering if the American left will ever allow conservatives to call them “socialists” without smearing their character and marginalizing their reputations in some sort of reverso-witch-hunt maneuver, which ends up typecasting the accuser.

All these international lefties made me realize; ripping liberals for being Marxists is kind of like me talking about your mom.  I really can’t get away with it unless we go legit she’s my mom.





Will The Flu Last Long Enough To Bash Conservatives For It?

28 04 2009

I’m trying to get the jump on the most-likely-to-be used, liberal attempts to blame the Mexican Swine flu on America conservatives.

Here’s the OOTB Early Line:

  • American fat-asses drained the world of edible pork meat.
  • American corporations created an unfair market (think Walmart) on small farms across the world which only further eroded conditions on small farms.
  • American corporation’s pollution caused weak immune systems in pigs.
  • Wealthy Americans unaware of and partly responsible for destitute conditions nearby.
  • George Bush’s tough stance with Mexico shielded out health experts and community activists outreach directors from corresponding with Mexicans.
  • George Bush and other Christians politicized the scientists who wanted more anti-vaccines.
  • Republicans still don’t believe your grandfather was a monkey!
  • The republican American recession, hit Mexicans particularly hard because the amount of American dollars sent back to Mexico, by Mexicans in America was drastically reduced.
  • Illegal Immigration is racist, and this is no time to reevaluate some of the negative consequences it may or may not cause.   Look over there!
  • The Armed Forces could have been called to the border but they were all in Iraq.
  • America should have been more in-tune with Mexico’s socio-economic problems and lack of natural resources.
  • 46 million Americans do not have health care!!!

thats-all-folks-porky-pig-790400

Reader submissions would be awesome.

UPDATE: Malkin already has a relevant post.





Black Designers Furious That Michelle Obama Wore An Asian’s Dress

26 01 2009

“In Women’s Wear Daily, Black Artists Association co-founder Amnau Eele said, “It’s one thing to look at the world without color but she had seven slots to wear designer clothes. Why wasn’t she wearing the clothes of a black designer? That was our moment.””

Amnau apparently thinks it was Martin Luther King’s “dream” that the first lady would judge her garments based on the color of the designer’s fabric skin.

Reap what you sew, race obsessed liberals.





Liberals Change DC’s Mall Into Nuclear Winterland

22 01 2009

Seriously?  A liberal would say that I’m a Republican trying to expedite the rapture, and I know that conservatives may be a bit depressed, but doesn’t that kinda look like the apocalypse?

I watched millions 800,000 inauguration revelers celebrate and say a classy good-bye to Bush.  I listened to MSNBC’s “journalists” say that “everyone who wanted a flag for the first and last time in their lives got one.”

Then, with the conviction that Leonardo DiCaprio has for our great planet and all the equal nations on it, I wondered where these flags would end up.

Would the Republicans end up recycling them, like they did after 80,000 flags were wasted at the DNC?

Would the flags be properly disposed of?

Would the liberals take their flags to the next antiwar rally to be burned?

Or would fake patriot, fake eco-warrior liberals, simply leave them for someone else to clean up as long as it was the government or a corporation?

Either way, an evil rich person is funding the clean-up, and that’s the least they could do after 8 years of ease and favor.

How’s that new era of hope and responsibility going?





Liberalism Or Children’s Thinking Part II

19 01 2009

Back by popular demand, a follow-up to a previous post!

Are 10yr old kids as wise as Ivy League professors and New York Times writers or is it the other way around?

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Once again from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, proof that you can’t tell where liberalism starts:

The following were written by fifth-graders at Pittsburgh Liberty.

Dear President-elect Barack Obama,

I just want to give you advice on what you should do for America. What you should do is to try to find a way to stop the war in Iraq. Many people from America that got who were sent to Iraq are dying, and most of their loved ones start to cry, and I hate to see people cry from that. But the good thing is that the people who went to war want to fight for our country. So, Barack Obama, if you do it, it may protect people and our country and it will give America good peace.

Sincerely,
Elexa Hanner

Dear President-elect Barack Obama,

Something you can do to help our country is do more recycling. You could put more recycling bins everywhere. We can still have garbage cans but not as many. California and other states that do recycling do way more recycling than Pennsylvania does. I hope when you read this, President-elect Barack Obama, you will do it. Also, do other things to help the environment and the country. Thank you.

Madison Novak

Dear President-elect Barack Obama,

Have you ever been out and said, “What is that smell?” It could be cigarettes. That is second-hand smoking. I think that smoking should be against the law. Here is what might happen if smoking was illegal.

The positives of no smoking are: You will be healthy, you will live longer, you will look better and there will be cleaner air. The negatives are: It is hard to quit and you can’t get the tar out.

There should be no smoking because it is bad for kids and there is not much we can do but a lot you can do.

Sincerely,
Brianna Watson

*Little Brianna might know, Obama is powerless over cigarette addiction, if the media had told her parents.

Dear President-elect Barack Obama,

When you become president, I think you should push to help the environment and push to lower health-care costs. If you push to help the environment then the world be a nicer place for everybody. It would be good to stop global warming or slow it down a lot.

You should give money to science groups that are trying to discover ways to stop global warming. You should encourage people to plant a tree or other plants on Arbor Day. You should reinforce the law that companies can’t drop their chemical waste into the ocean. The animals that live in the ocean will live longer.

I think you should push to lower health- care costs because everybody needs health care to live. People won’t become bankrupt because they paid their medical bill. People won’t be afraid to go to the doctor’s office because they are saving their money for something they think is more important.

Zachary Lardas, age 10

Dear President-elect Barack Obama,

I am so happy you won the election. You are going to be a great president. The way you could help our country is by ending the war because citizens are getting killed and not having enough time to spend with friends, family, and to have fun.

You could also make the gas prices lower. U.S. citizens are not going to pay for the gas because they won’t have enough money. When they can’t afford gas, they won’t be able to visit different locations. But if they want to visit by plane, or train, both will be crowded, and planes cost a lot of money, too. Anyway, hope you have a great time in the White House.

Sincerely,
Peyton Skinker, age 11

Dear President-elect Barack Obama,

The changes I would like to see once President Barack Obama takes office are changes in health care, where everyone would be covered by a good health plan. Next would be the economy, where companies would be able to create more jobs, making goods affordable for everyone. I would also like to see Mr. Obama end the war in Iraq and bring the troops home.

The money that is spent on the war can be used in our economy by making loans to businesses and homeowners. We could drill for our own oil instead of buying from foreign countries.

Chaz C. Charles, age 10

Dear President-elect Barack Obama,

To be a great president and change the world, you should spend more of your time on gas prices, recycling, our world, homes and apartments for homeless people, and taxes.

First, you can lower gas prices because our parents are already paying water bills, cable bills, and electricity bills. I think everyone has noticed prices going down, but prices should be near $1.45 a gallon. The gas stations seem to get more money back when they lower their prices because more people come.

Secondly, when the recycling trucks come and the workers take the recyclables, it should go to the economy and some of the workers should take it to one of the shops where they give you money in return for the recyclables. This way, you help the Earth and you get money.

Third, you should help the Earth on more days than its birthday. You should have one day every month that you do something like plant a tree, water gardens in your community, pull weeds, harvest food and give it to homeless people.

Speaking of homeless people, they need a center where they can sleep, eat, communicate and get a good education. If you were a homeless person who sleeps at a bus stop, you would be cold, hungry and afraid. At the center there should be a doctor who gives checkups.

These are tips that can help you become a great president. I think you will be a good president because of what you said during the election against Hillary Clinton and John McCain. Everything you said then counts as a promise.

From your No. 1 fan,
John Karl Council, age 10

Dear President-elect Barack Obama,

My name is Eddie Hanif Bey, and I am a fifth-grade student at Liberty Elementary School. My middle name means true believer. And I believe in you. I just turned 11 on Nov. 21. I was so excited when the teacher told me about this wonderful opportunity to tell you about myself and to ask you some questions about how you will help rebuild our country even though I know you will be a great president.

I was born in Pittsburgh and am the youngest of five children. I have four sisters and I am the only boy; I guess you know how that feels. My parents have put my first two sisters through college and my third sister is at Edinboro University in Pennsylvania. My fourth sister is in high school, where my mom works. I run track and like to compete. I am sure you know about competition, even though you and McCain weren’t even close.

I watch the news and really like your first commitment to our country. I look forward to hearing from you, maybe with the Lord’s blessings. I think you have completed a great accomplishment, being our first president of color.

I really think that you can change this country for the best. You will be the best president of our time, so take your time and make things right because you have eight years.

I don’t have a dog, but I would like to, so tell Sasha and Malia not to tease. My dad is a great role model for me, and you put the icing on the cake.

P.S. See you in the White House.

Sincerely yours,
Eddie Hanif Bey, age 11

Dear President-elect Barack Obama:

Congratulations on becoming the president!

In my opinion, to help our country, we should do more reusing and recycling of products instead of always buying new things. When we reuse and recycle, someone could find another valuable use for the product.

When you get your daughters their dog, you should adopt it from a shelter. That gives a dog a second chance and a new life. The dog wouldn’t just have a nice home but lots of care from a family. It could also help to inspire other people in our country to adopt a dog from a shelter. Also, please get your dog spayed or neutered.

We should do more to protect our environment from damage to air, water and land. We shouldn’t throw any fuels or trash in the water. If someone does damage to the environment, they should help clean it up.

And could we please just worry about our own country? We should end the war and stop violence. We should promote peace and give peace a chance. If we do these things, we could have a better country.

Thank you for reading my letter.

P.S. My cousin, Kiely. would like to be the nanny for your daughters.

— Olivia Rautio, age 11, Liberty Elementary

Dear President-elect Barack Obama:

Global warming is a huge problem. But there are ways you could prevent it. One way is to make electric cars more available because they don’t use much gasoline. If they are more available than cars that need more gasoline, then that might help stop global warming. Another way that might help prevent global warming is not using cars at all. You could encourage people to use bicycles or walk instead.

Another problem is pollution, which is one of the causes of global warming. There are also ways to prevent pollution. One way is to put more garbage cans around cities, neighborhoods and other places where there are lots of people. This way people won’t put their garbage on the ground. You should make a law that everyone should have to recycle or they will be punished. I hope you will consider my ideas.

— Nell Hendricks, age 10, Liberty Elementary