Wonder Woman Deploys Transformers At “Middle-America Super Bible-Beaters”

9 06 2009

I’m not a stalker and I’m not violent.

But ever since I saw Megan Fox, I’ve wanted to hunt her down and club her like a cavewoman.

Let me clarify.

I don’t really want to club her like a cavewoman…that sounds misogynistic and weird.  What I mean is I want to club her like a caveman who bonked sexy cavewomen over the head and dragged them by the hair back to their caves.

Seriously, where the f*** does she get off looking like that?

Anyways, she’s said some pretty interesting things lately like wanting to strangle a mountain-ox with her bare hands because certain women were so darned appealing to her…

This is good for at least two reasons and especially because, I’m guessing she’ll totally understand the good-natured club to the dome.

Fox, a tolerant Tennessee girl went after you throwback conservatives and judging by her comment, it’s almost like she’s asking for it!

Newsbusters has the dish:

When asked how she would stop the ruthless Megatron from demolishing the world, Fox first said that she would “barter with him.” She then, however, went on to say, “… and instead of the entire planet, can you just take out all of the white trash, hillbilly, anti-gay, super bible-beating people in Middle America?”

Ugh.  You can try to make me hate you Megan, but it’s gonna take a lot more than that.





I’m not sure about that zombie in the background, but Egotastic.com has tons of Megan Fox photos if you can stand it.


Stan Lee Is Coming Out With A New Ssssuper Hero

15 01 2009


No, not the new edition of Spider-man.


Not this guy in blue tights either…

A new gay super hero, named Thom Creed.

It’s about a mysterious basketball playing, Hawaiian high-school student, who has a big secret to go with his murky past.

His special powers of entrancing billions of naive idiots and rising through the power structure without a single document in his record have not yet been revealed.

And NO!

I already told you Obama already has his own comic with Spidey.  This one isn’t about him!

Gay Penguins Seek Equality. Hatchlings.

1 12 2008


In a world where everyone’s dressed in a tuxedo, it gets hard to brag about your fashion sense and find ways to celebrate diversity.  Lifelong mating penguins or “breeders,” as they’re called by gay penguins, may seem to be indistinguishable from the rest of the pengie community, but experts suggest that, while they may look exactly alike on the outside, they’re all different on the inside.  These differences are allegedly behind a rise in crime as gay penguins are stealing their neighbors eggs and leaving expecting parents with cold rocks. Straight penguins allege gay penguins are flapping a flipper in Darwin’s eye and creating unrest in the community.  Gay penguins ignored the charges and are said to simply want the G-D given right to “equality and those adorable baby penguins.”