If You Know The Identities Or Whereabouts Of Anyone In These Pictures…

16 04 2009

Please call the authorities immediately and do not try to apprehend them.

They’re armed and dangerous.

Local authorities can not be trusted.

Only the Federal government should be notified.

BACKGROUND:

A brave journalist journalism school grad attended the 2009 Saint Paul Tea Party.

He sent the following summary to the local fish-wrap factories (Star Tribune and Pioneer Press), but they didn’t run it because they didn’t want to be liable for any potential, ensuing, hate crimes and none of the female protesters had hairy armpits.

Here’s what he reported:

As most Americans were patriotically paying their taxes, the Minnesota State Capitol building, built for $4.5 million in 1905, hosted a swarm of Christian gun-owners, many of whom were vehemently anti-Obama, for unknown reasons.

teaparty-crowdcapThe rabble-rousing, anti-tax, legions were noticeably homogeneous, save for this proud, rainbow-flag waving onlooker, seen to the left of an irate, radical, misogynist, anti-abortion activist.

teaparty-rainbowflag1Throngs of these people came to the city from rural areas and were united by their fear of change and their Scandanavian, German and Irish roots.

teaparty-massIn a city that boasts fantastic immigrant populations, it’s clear that many could feel uncomfortable and unwelcomed as Old Glory was aggressively waved and nationalist cries of “USA! USA! USA!” echoed through the land like the morning call to prayer from a Muezzin in Damascus.

But in the end, none of these so-called, ‘Tea Parties’ rivaled the huge crowds we saw last fall, when the first African-American President rekindled the nation’s democratic spirit in his rise to the White House.

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6 responses

17 04 2009
MBC

I think I see my dad…

28 04 2009
Joey

Socialist… boo hoo, people exercised their right to free speech and peaceful assembly! and they probably support a free market too! oh my god!

28 04 2009
Turtle

Wow, this almost made me barf all over my laptop. Please tell me this is satire??

28 04 2009
outoftheblu

Muahahahaha! I used to be a liberal. Of course it’s satire!

30 04 2009
Turtle

Oh ok! Glad to hear it! I probably shouldn’t click on links when I’m that tired 😉

30 04 2009
outoftheblu

Always happy to have ya!
But I gotta say it…GOTCHA!

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